That's pretty much all I can say right now about how I feel, well I could say there were moments that I just felt no different, then angry (at myself), regret and just times when I just felt like bursting into tears, luckily all of that just remained within, might not be healthy for me in the long run, but bottling it up for the most part is just sometimes the only way to continue on. Have tried to distract myself, which only mildly worked, but in time I will just learn to get use to the new status quo.
Anyway, other than that I have been doing some stuff, as for writing I've managed to do something, even though it's mostly rushed and I hate how it's turning out (still currently finishing it, should be done by the time this goes out), but it's something, mostly was a hard subject to do either way, next week I'll be working on another Star Trek story, which should work better and I can get back to writing things properly again.
For gaming, have mostly been playing Jurassic World Evolution, which is quite good, not perfect yet but it's got the groundwork there, was streaming it to a friend to show it off to them, was also surprised my computer was powerful enough to do so considering it's age, but yeah it's very fun, though my main two nitpicks is islands need to be bigger and the game tends to have a little bit too much busywork, not sure if it's due to how I've set things up, but I like the main work of a park builder to be the setup, managing the park to a point when it can look after itself so I can then finally enjoy it too, something like an ant farm, build it all up right then just be able to sit back and just watch (or in the game, drive around in the rover and watch from the ground).
Also been playing Battletech as well, finally got myself a third heavy mech, thought I had gotten myself a fourth one, but found out I've got many nearly complete husks of numerous heavy mechs but not enough to complete them just yet.... yeah it's annoying, but just need that one mission where I can get the salvage I need, then I'd been rolling in four new heavies, stomping around the place like they own it all. And I think that'll wrap it up for this week, for my N gauge stuff I've not been doing much as of yet, though am getting closer to a final design for my next layout, but waiting to get paid to buy more rolling stock and trains when they come out... and also more games for my collection too... yeah it'll be a while, anyway hope you all have a good one, take care.